The Pamamanhikan (Part I)

There is none yet. Since JP is based in Singapore, this part is quite challenging.

JP has already informed his mom about our plans to get married this year. But, I doubt if they have an idea how soon we plan it to be. I am praying that God will prepare the hearts & minds of his parents and mine. I also pray for God to prepare the hearts & minds of our siblings.

Just a few weeks ago, my mother declared something to this effect: "Anak, kahit wag mo na kami pakainin basta maikasal ka lang." At first I was not sure if I would be happy about that declaration or offended. In the end, I decided to take it positively. Her remark to me, meant that she is aware that JP and I are not in the best position financially. But more than that, it meant that she was emotionally and mentally ready to "hand me over" to someone who promises to have me as his wife and take care of me.

I told the above story to JP, not knowing what his reaction would be. He laughed and found the story quite entertaining. At that instant, I was so glad he does not always take things too seriously like I do.

When God would allow it to happen, here is how I envision "The Pamamanhikan" to happen:

LOGISTICS - It should be on a weekend and JP's family would fetch my mom and me from my Lola's house in Balintawak around 10:30AM in the morning. Together, we would drive all the way to Novaliches, where my Papa lives. Where I also used to live. This way, JP's family can also meet my Lola and know where my mom and I currently stays. My only concern here is that during the one-hour drive, what are we supposed to talk about?

FOOD - I plan to bake cupcakes before that day and cook oven-baked chicken, which I hope JP would love. Knowing that JP's mom and dad likes to have red wine, I plan to buy a bottle also. I also plan to buy flowers from Dangwa that morning so that I can decorate our dining table beautifully.

SOUVENIR - If possible, I hope to buy a "Polaroid" camera before the event. So we can have souvenir photos taken that day.

THINGS TO DISCUSS - To facilitate lighter conversations, I have created a photo album that will show our parents our whereabouts as a couple since 2008 when we first met. I am not sure how to start the more serious topics, but I am anticipating the following questions will be discussed:

1. When and where do we plan to get married?
2. How much is our wedding budget? 
3. Who will pay for the wedding? What will the parents role be in the wedding plans?
4. Where will we live after the wedding? 
5. Will there be a honeymoon?
6. Are we going to have kids anytime soon? If not, when do we plan to have kids?
7. Where do we plan to raise the kids and build a family? How many kids are we planning to have?
8. Will the kids be baptized as Catholic?

I also plan to bring pictures of our chosen wedding venue, so that at least our parents will have a good idea what the wedding would be like. This will also communicate to them that we are already preparing for the wedding even before. 

I really have no idea what goes on in a pamamanhikan. In my case, this would be the hardest part. I continue to pray for God to honor our good intentions and go before us, helping us and strengthening us as we go about our preparations.